In every culture, giving compliments is a very common thing to do. However in some ways they differ from each others, from culture to culture.
In Indonesia if we see one of our friends wearing a beautiful new dress, Most of us tend to keep silent and say nothing about the dress rather than expressing our admiration. For the English people, however, tend to express it by giving compliments.
E.g: 1. You look handsome with your new
car.
2. I like the model o your new Hotel
design.
It also differs from the way we respond to compliments. For Indonesians, in many cases, it is common to see people refusing a compliment by saying, "Tidak! Baju ini sudah lama". As a consequence when we speak in English we tend to respond the compliments the same way and say, "No! It's an old dress, i bought it lasr year".
In that case, such a response is not appropriate in English culture. The Native speakers tend to accept a compliment, particularly if it is a sincere one, by saying thank you plus add one or two other statements supporting it.
E.g: "Thank you. I like it very much. I just love the color and the style".
In responding to a compliment, most Indonesian speakers, tend to be quite, do not give any comments, and tend to refuse the compliments with a few disagreeing statements.
These are the examples
Indonesian speakers:
Conversation 1
A: What a beautiful garden you have!
B: No, it is a mess, actually I haven't got enough time to look after it.
Converstaion 2
A: This rendang is very delicious. You really are a Master cook.
B: No, it's rather tasteless. I don't have that great skills, I'm still learning how to cook.
Native speakers
Conversation 1
A: What a beautiful garden you have!
B: Thank you. I Like gardening so much and i spend a lot of time to look after it.
Conversation 2
A: This rendang is really delicious. Your really are a Master cook.
B: Thank you. I spent the whole afternoon preparing all of these. I tried to do my best, of course.
Does it mean that English people never refuse a compliment? Well, it depends how we give the compliments, if the compliment is not sincere, they will refuse it as well. They might say, for example:
• Don't try to flatter me.
• I don't like flatterers.
• You're just kidding me.
• Flattery will get you no where.
• You're just fooling around, aren't you?
So, we need to be able to judge whether our friend is sincere or not when giving a compliment. We can do that through our experince in getting along with them for sometime.
So do not refuse a good compliments, it may become a good prayers for the future, because you already inspire other people to have great day... ^__^
Taken from: Eudia Grace and Th.M.Sudarwati
